


Tis not the dying that hurts us so

by TaraHarkon



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Multiple Endings, Temporal Paradox, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop, eighth bird julia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-18 11:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21660163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraHarkon/pseuds/TaraHarkon
Summary: Magnus Burnsides just faced the apocalypse, the destruction of his world in the onslaught of something he can't name.Julia Burnsides just faced her own apocalypse with Ravensroost crashing to the ground around her.These events should be one hundred years apart. These people should be in entirely different worlds. But now they're together on a silver ship careening towards a new world.So what happens next? And what happens when there are eight birds where there had been seven?
Relationships: Julia Burnsides/Magnus Burnsides
Comments: 11
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

Imagine the apocalypse. Imagine facing the apocalypse, the ruin of your world, and knowing that the other six people on your ship are the only people left after the onslaught. Imagine turning around to see a woman you've never seen before staring at you like you're the sun and she's been in the darkness for so very long. She holds her hands out to you and you can see the cuts and scratches on her skin, the blood and dirt mingled on her face. And you have no idea how she got here. And then she says your name. 

Imagine that all of this happens.

Now imagine that you're standing in your home going about your life. Imagine that you've just won the war you believe will define your life, your future. Imagine you believe the future is one of a peace of your own making. Imagine that in just a few days your new husband will return home and the two of you can get down to the business of handcrafting that future to be exactly what you both what. But then imagine that your world is rocked quite literally as far beneath you, you hear the sound of explosions. Imagine your home shakes and you hear wood crack and screams. Imagine you tried to run. It all happened far too fast, though, and there was nowhere to go. And then you were pulled apart into ribbons light and the next thing you knew, you were standing in front of your husband. But you've never been in a place like this, all metal and gears and glass screens with numbers flashing over them. And your husband is looking at you like he's never seen you before. 

Imagine you have no idea how you're alive.

That was the state Julia Burnsides found herself in. She knew she was dirty. She knew she hurt. How many cuts and bruises did she have from being thrown around like that? And their house. Their wonderful little house and the workshop and everything. It had been plummeting through the air. And this thing she was in was certainly doing the same now but this was different. This was controlled.

"Magnus?"

He took a step back, banging into the wall. He honestly looked confused. And what was he wearing? She'd never seen him in a red jacket like this one. There was a patch on the sleeve, on his upper arm, but she couldn't quite read it from this angle.

_"Everyone report to the bridge. We need to- We need to figure out what just happened."_

The voice came from nowhere and everywhere all at once and Julia jumped, wondering if it was some kind of magic. Obviously it had been some sort of magic that had pulled her here. Wherever here was.

"Magnus, what's going on? Why are you looking at me like that?"

He held up both hands.

"How do you know my name? How did you even get in here? Did you sneak on board?"

Julia felt her chest tighten and like her stomach had dropped out. He didn't know her. He had no idea who she was, what they had gone through together. He knew none of it. And she had no idea how that was possible. Then he shook his head and she looked at him again, wondering where he'd gotten that black eye.

"Come on, that was Captain Davenport. He should know you're here. And I mean, I guess its okay you're here and not back there with... whatever that was." Then he smiled brightly. "I'm Magnus. But I guess you already knew that? What's your name?"

Julia hid her smile. Well, whatever this was, he clearly hadn't changed a bit. That was something, at least.

"Julia." She hesitated for a moment. She couldn't really give him his own surname, now could she? "Julia Waxmen."

He led her through the corridors and she did her best not to jump at things like that lights that seemed to turn on by themselves and the little whooshing noise all of the doors made as they opened, again by themselves. It was all probably just magic, but if it was it was some powerful stuff to just be permanent like this. After all, she knew her Magnus and he didn't know a lick of magic. 

The symbol from his jacket was all over everything here as well. That only raised more questions in her mind. Along with the fact that he wasn't wearing anything under said jacket. But then again, that was fairly normal. Other than the part where he did seem to have sleeves. She would've sworn the man was allergic to the concept of sleeves if she hadn't seen him in a proper suit the once for their wedding. And then again now in his bright red jacket. 

When they stepped onto the bridge, she began to understand some things at least. She understood that they were flying and not falling. She understood that this red jacket with its patch was some sort of uniform. She understood that she was very much out of her depth. And she understood that no one on this flying ship expected there to be an eighth person on board. Well good, because she didn't overly expect to be here either. 

The gnome seated at what appeared to be some sort of controls turned and frowned slightly before shaking his head and very visibly deciding she was a problem for later. 

"I hailed the Institute and I got no response. I don't know if that- that whatever it was knocked out the communications array or if something else is going on, but I need all eyes on finding a way to make contact. I don't want to try and land until we know what the situation is."

An older human man with glasses wearing a red robe over a white shirt and jeans nodded slowly.

"I uh... I had a look down there, Captain. Just through the window but... There's no lights. Nothing's lit up on the surface at all. If the electrical grid is down, that could account for the uh... the communications failure."

Julia was silent, just looking around the room at each person here. There were two elves standing close together, each with a hand on the other's sleeve like they were trying to prove to themselves that the other wasn't going to disappear. There was a quiet human woman tucked to the back of the room with a journal open as she took notes. Her hand was shaking and she kept stopping to wipe her eyes on her sleeve. The was an older dwarven man who was peering out the window, seeming more curious than afraid. There was the gnomish man seated at the controls, his expression serious but with worry in his eyes. His hands gripped the armrests of his chair tightly enough that his knuckles were turning white. There was the nervous looking human man, now cleaning his glasses like it was the only thing in this world he could possibly control. And then there were her and Magnus standing in the door but apart.

Then eyes slowly began to turn towards her as the crew of this unusual vessel began to realize she was there. Magnus put a steadying hand on her shoulder and Julia did her best not to lean into it, despite the comfort it gave her.

"I found her below deck, Captain. Or uh..." Magnus faltered slightly, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "She just sort of appeared, actually. You all saw the light ribbons stuff too, right? After that, she was there."

The light ribbons? She remembered those, remembered the way she'd been pulled apart and stitched back together and-

The gnomish man stood, rubbing at his temples.

"Barry, Lup, I want you both to start looking into that phenomenon if you can. Merle, run diagnostics on the whole crew. Make sure everyone is alright. Taako, see if you can locate any signs of life on the surface. I'm going to keep trying to hail until morning. If we don't get anything, then we'll land when we can get a better look. Lucretia, go with Barry and Lup. Help them organize everything. Magnus..." He paused, looking at Julia. "Look, I'm sure you've got an explanation for how you got here but right now, we don't have time for explanations. What's your name?"

She hesitated for a moment, wondering exactly what sort of crisis she'd fallen into. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. When she'd first arrived, other than his strange outfit, she'd wondered if somehow she'd appeared in Neverwinter at the carpentry competition Magnus had gone to with his rocking chair. Now she was very much sure that wasn't true.

"Julia Waxmen."

He nodded slowly.

"Well... Welcome to the team for the duration of this emergency, Julia Waxmen. Magnus, she's going with you. Do a full inspection of the ship, top to bottom. Make sure we didn't sustain any damage from that... that thing. When you're done with that, I want you to report back here. Got it?"

Magnus sketched a vague salute and turned to head back out.

"You got it, Cap'nport! Come on, Julia. I'll show you around."

They spent the better part of an hour going over every inch of this ship. Magnus kept calling it the Starblaster, talking about a bond engine and something called the Institute of Planar Research and Exploration. And maybe that explained it. Maybe this wasn't even her Magnus. Maybe this was some other Magnus from another world? Another timeline? Maybe she really had died only she'd skipped left into another world instead of going into the Astral Sea. That sounded messy but anything was possible.

Either way, she did resolve not to tell him anything he didn't seem to already know. Just in case.

She especially wasn't going to tell him that she was pretty sure she'd died.

* * *

When the team reconvened, they hadn't figured out much more than they'd known before. The surface was silent, everyone seemed fine except for injuries they expected to have, and no one knew how Julia had gotten there. The elven twins whose names she had learned were Lup and Taako set about make dinner, the subdued tone of the ship periodically broken by their joking which quickly quieted again. 

Soon though, all eight of them settled around a table with plates in front of them and steaming dishes of food to be passed around. It was nice, honestly. Familiar but not too familiar. Magnus sat opposite her and Julia found herself tucked between Lup and the other human woman, Lucretia. The pair of them had taken Julia's presence the most in stride, with Lup loudly commenting that she was glad to have another woman on the team, even if she was a surprise addition. Lup had even produced another uniform jacket for her. Julia hadn't put that on though. It didn't feel right. 

Lup was pushing her food around her plate, ears flicked back as she seemed to be deep in thought. Then she looked up.

"Hey Cap'nport? If we're gonna need some place for Julia to bunk, you can throw her in with me. I was planning on sleeping in with Taako half the time anyway. And it's not like we can't just conjure a second bed."

That got a smile from Davenport and a grin from Taako.

"Well, it'll probably only be for the night since hopefully tomorrow we'll be landing again but... Sure, why not."

Barry looked down, staring at his plate for a long moment. Then he sighed quietly.

"Captain, I'm not so sure about that. I know what we saw and... and everything. But... I double checked all of Taako's readings. There's nothing down there to say there's any signs of sentient life, let alone the Institute and our... our entire civilization. I'm not sure what that means, exactly, but I don't think we can count on this being over in the morning."

And of course that brought the mood of the whole table down. But it was true, wasn't it? And better to be prepared, Julia thought. Better to be ready to face whatever might come. That's how she and Magnus had gotten through the rebellion, after all. Being ready for everything and never expecting things to be easy. 

When dinner was over, she offered to help Lup with the clean up. Stacking the dishes, she carried them into the small galley kitchen and set them down beside the sink. 

"So..." started Lup, expression far more curious than the simple question implied. "Wash or dry?"

Julia answered by the simple expediency of reaching for the sponge.

"I'll wash." Then she smiled. "By the way, thanks. I know all of this... I don't know how I got here and none of it makes any sense to me but I appreciate all the help you've been giving me."

Lup grinned, grabbing the dish towel to start drying as Julia passed her the first clean plate.

"Don't worry about it, babe. You need help so I'm helping." Her grin grew as she moved on to the next plate. "Any way, I wasn't joking before. Five guys and two girls on one boat? We absolutely needed to even the odds a little somehow."

Pretty sure, Lup was leaning against the counter while a bright red mage hand dried the dishes for her.

"So, what do you do, Waxmen?"

Julia paused in scrubbing one particularly sticky plate and looked up.

"What?"

The question got a raised eyebrow in return.

"You know, your class. Cha'girl's a wizard. So's my brother. So's the nerd, natch. The old man's a cleric who really wants to be a druid. Maggie's a fighter. I'm pretty sure the kid's a wizard too but she doesn't talk much so I'm not totally sure yet. And currently we're betting 10 to 1 that Cap'nport's a rogue but no one's totally sure. So, what do you do?"

She tilted her head to the side slightly, ears flicking in different directions as she waited for an answer. Then Julia laughed softly.

"Oh! I'm a paladin." She reached into the front of her dress, pulling out a gold-wrought symbol that looked like a woman with wings raised to encircle her head like a halo. "Of Serenrae."

For a moment, Lup was silent. Then she shrugged.

"Rad, we could use another person who doesn't just blow shit up from a distance but uh... who's Serenrae? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly the most religious elf out there and you know I skipped that day of elf practice but like... I've literally never seen that symbol before."

Julia's eyebrows shot up into her hairline and she set down the last dish, splashing it in the dish water.

"You've never... She's not... I thought... She's a pretty popular goddess where I'm from." She'd literally never met someone who didn't know about Serenrae. Or... She stopped for a moment, realizing that she had once. When she'd first met Magnus and she'd healed him, he hadn't known who the Everlight was either. Well... that just might be something there. "She's a goddess of healing and redemption. And of stopping those who refuse to be redeemed."

Her voice took on the same intensity it always did when she spoke of her goddess and when she looked up again, Lup was look her over like she was reevaluating what she saw.

"That's pretty badass. I dig it." She grinned then, gesturing at the last dish. "Finish that up and let's hit the hay."

The specter of tomorrow loomed over both of them and Lup cast a worried glance towards the dark windows. Then she shook her head a little as Julia handed her the last dish for drying and went to drain the sink.

"Well, whatever we find down there," Julia began, "I'll do my best to help."

Lup laughed and set the dish with the others on the shelf before putting an arm around Julia's shoulders.

"Hell yeah. That's the spirit." She guided her down the hall. "Come on, let's get you set up for the night, roomie."

* * *

They didn't find the Institute the next morning. They didn't find the city they were expecting. They didn't find people or buildings or streets or anything they were expecting to find. They found forests and fields and streams and rivers and lakes and towering cliffs and stone spires reaching for the sky and swamps and jungles and on and on through the environments. But there wasn't a single person in sight beyond the eight of them. 

In a way, Julia was glad. If they had found what they were looking for, they would have tried to get rid of her. Instead, they had closed in tighter around her out of relief that the eight of them were here and that none of them were alone. Still though, they didn't know what to do beyond survive. Beyond find a way to maybe get back to their world, to their homes. 

Julia ended up spending a lot of time with Lup, which of course meant spending a lot of time with Taako. She wasn't sure about him just yet, though. Lup was friendly if a bit rough around the edges. Taako was downright abrasive. Particularly with anyone he deemed to be butting in on twin time. When that happened, she would gravitate to Lucretia instead. Or Merle. The man was certainly odd but he was the only other truly religious member of the crew, so far as she could tell. That at least gave them something to talk about.

She avoided spending time alone with Magnus. It hurt too much.

And then Davenport decreed over breakfast one morning that they were going to continue on with the parameters of the mission, IPRE or no IPRE. They would figure the rest out later but for now, they would continue on has they had planned. And Julia was officially a permanent part of the team, one who would move around as needed. 

Time passed like that, with each of them heading off to do their own research. Julia had found a good source of local wood and was testing it to see what sorts of things she could managed with it, determining the relative hardnesses and things like that. Her hands itched to find a source of metal ore to work with but they didn't have the resources for a mining operation short of just having Lup blast a pit. None of them quite wanted to do that.

And anyway, Lup and Taako and Barry, of all people, were off working on some sort of project of their own involving a small family of mongoose they'd found. A project that involved the three of them spending a lot of time talking about linguistics. 

Then one night, she and Lup were sitting up talking about nothing in particular when Taako burst into the room. His ears were flared wide and his eyes were huge as he looked between them.

"Dav wants everyone topside. Something dropped through the atmosphere and Barrence is saying it was the fucking Light."

Lup shot out of bed, grabbing her wand from her bedside as she moved. Julia was slower, confusion plain on her face as she followed.

"The... Light?"

Taako moved on to the next door, slamming on it.

"Yo! Maggie! Rise and shine!"

Lup ignored him as she and Julia headed down the hall.

"The Light of Creation. You never saw the press releases?" When Julia shook her head, absolutely perplexed, Lup went on. "Basically, its a beach ball of power. Its like... It glows from the inside and its full of all this magic, like nothing you've ever seen before. Full of wonder, you know? The R&D team that built this thing used it to make the bond engine work. And it should've been back home, not here."

Worry crept into Lup's voice and Julia wondered at that. Lup didn't sound worried often. Even when everyone else had been reeling from the apparent destruction of their world, Lup had seemed to take it in stride. That only served to worry Julia more.

When they arrived on the bridge, Davenport was already talking with Barry.

"We're going to need to find it, obviously." He glanced over towards the door. "Good, you're here. Lup, the new plan is that we find the Light of Creation. Barry's been telling me about your project to talk to the local creatures. Do you think they might be able to help?"

Lup chewed her lower lip for a moment and then nodded.

"If any of them saw it, absolutely. Those little guys are smart, Cap."

The meeting went with brisk efficiency. Each of them laying out what they knew, what they could do to track the Light, different ideas being thrown around. Lucretia quietly recorded all of it, only really speaking up to remind them of things they'd already covered. And soon enough, they had a plan laid out. Julia was impressed.

* * *

Barry and the twins spent the next weeks focusing on trying to talk to the mongoose family about the Light. They'd been making astounding progress on basic communication and had started learning about other animals in the area. And about rumors of a city and a powerful ruling council of animals. If anyone might know where the Light was, it would be them. Now they just had to get there.

Eventually, the entire crew set out towards the city they'd been directed to. It was loud as they approached, the animals chattering and screeching as they spread the news of these strange biped creatures. Julia's eyes darted around the crowds and at the buildings these animals seemed to have built. The idea was amazing and she wished her father could see them. Imagine, animals building houses. She had to wonder what sort of tools they used, or if they'd even used any. Maybe if they had time, she could stay here and see. Maybe she could find out if they knew anything about what sorts of metals could be found in the ground.

But they were ushered on into the presence of the Royal Beasts. There were them of them, huge creatures far bigger than any others here. There were a snowy owl, a one-eyed wolf, and a great kodiak bear. Davenport stepped up, opening his mouth to speak, and Lup started to translate. 

"Honored Royal Beasts, I am Captain Davenport of the Institute of Planar Research and Exploration. We came here looking for an artifact that we call the Light of Creation. It came with us from our home plane but was lost. We have reason to believe that you may know where it is."

There was a clamor among the beasts both in the audience and in that royal council. Julia turned in time to see a bear charging out of the crowd roaring something. She grabbed Magnus' arm and he whirled, intercepting the bear without so much as a thought. With a roar of his own, Magnus got the brown bear pinned and looked up at the kodiak on the dais, the one known as the Power Bear.

The Power Bear considered this for a long moment and then nodded, looking at Lup as he responded. Then she looked at Magnus.

"Let him up. The Power Bear says we can have the Light if you prove that you can protect it."

* * *

The next morning, Magnus left with the Power Bear going who knew where. And Julia would have felt more lost if it wasn't for Lup. The pair of them wandered this city of animals, Lup eager to see what sort of food the animals were developing as they seemed to be learning to cook and Julia eager to see their tools. 

"So, Jules, you never did say. Where are you from?"

Julia looked up from her careful examination of a joist and chewed her lower lip for a moment.

"That's the thing. I'm not... I'm not sure I'm from your world. Unless... Do you know a place called Ravens Roost?"

Lup shook her head, confusion crossing her face as her ears flicked back.

"But that doesn't many any sense? How could you be from somewhere else? You're not from here, that's for sure."

All Julia could do to respond to that was shrug. She didn't know either. But she was certain that her home on Abeir-Toril, on Faerun, was not the two-sunned plane they talked about from time to time. Julia leaned in to take another look at the way they'd managed to work an arch, wondering if she could recreate it, when Lup spoke again.

"And Magnus said you knew his name before he introduced himself. So you have to be from our world, right? How else could you know him?"

She nearly smacked her head as she stood up straight. For a moment, all she could think about was the gazebo he'd handcrafted and the bright clear blue sky that had been over them. The flowers in her hands and in her hair, her father standing at her side as Magnus walked towards them with the biggest smile on his face. Then slowly her eyes focused once more on Lup's face in front of her. Sighing softly, Julia shook her head. She couldn't explain any of this. She couldn't explain how she knew him. 

"I... I guess that makes sense."

Lup was quiet, her head tilted slightly to the side as she watched Julia's expression. Then she smiled a little.

"Come on, let's head back to the ship. Cha'girl's gotta get on making dinner and Ko's gonna be out for a while, so I could use a second set of hands if you're game."

* * *

Things carried on more or less like that as time passed. Magnus was training with the Power Bear and Julia felt adrift other than Lup and Lucretia. Then one day, they were all summoned by the Great Beasts once more. Today was the day they would be given the Light, or so they hoped. After all, Magnus had done everything they'd asked of him. He'd learned what the Power Bear had to teach and more. Everyone could see how far he'd come in that year. 

Instead, they faced the darkness. 

Julia didn't know what it meant when the world started to lose its color and for a moment she wondered for one frantic, horrifying moment if maybe this whole year had just been her mind trying cope with the fact that she was dying and this was finally the end. Then she heard Davenport yelling for them all to go back to the ship. She saw Taako dragging Lup by the arm while she fired pot shots at the tendrils of darkness and the creatures that rode them. She saw Lucretia doing everything she could to keep up with the others. And then she saw Magnus. He wasn't moving towards the ship at all, he was moving to help the animals. Because of course he was. What else would he be doing?

She didn't even stop to think, Julia just tore after him and tried to grab the nearest animal, pushing them towards cover. She could see a bunch of scared baby rabbits huddled under a wolf that was trying to snap at the shadows to no effect. Julia grabbed a broken board and swung it as hard as she could at the shadow, flinching as the wood shattered.

"Magnus!"

Her shout was torn away in the din but he turned anyway, seeming to realize something. There was a long cut across his chest and he held a bear cub in his arms. For one frantic moment, their eyes met and then he pushed the cub at her. She had only barely caught it before he slammed past her and into the inky creature, knocking it down. She hugged the cub tightly, moving towards cover with the wolf herding the bunnies along behind her. Magnus would be behind her in a moment, she was sure of that. Everything was going to be fine. It had to be.

A moment later, she felt something she had felt before, something she'd felt a year ago. It was like something was pulling her apart, trying to pull her spine out of her body. She opened her mouth, trying to yell, and turned just in time to see a black spear burst out of Magnus' back and then vanish into him again just before he fell. His name on her lips turned into a scream as they were both pulled into streaming white ribbons. 


	2. Chapter 2

The streaming ribbons of light came back together just as quickly and Julia found herself back on the Starblaster, back in a small room below decks, back looking at Magnus. She expected to see the cut on his chest from before. She expected to see blood from the spear that she was so sure had killed him. She expected to see any sign of what had happened. He had a black eye, sure, but the thing was he hadn't had one minutes ago.

"Julia? What... what happened? I thought..."

He looked shaken and she couldn't help but go to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I don't know. But you're okay. We're both okay."

His arms settled around her, hugging her tightly. It couldn't be more obvious how much he needed it. In the end, they ended up staying like that until the shipboard speakers came to life.

_"Everyone report to the bridge. What the hell just happened?"_

Magnus pulled back quickly, something in his expression almost guilty as they heard the voice of their Captain. He sounded just as shaken as Magnus looked and Julia felt. Still, she took his hand and went to the door, trying to figure out at least in her own mind how to explain how they'd gotten back on the ship.

For the second time, she walked onto the bridge of the Starblaster and looked around. Taako was practically clinging to his sister and she had an arm around him until Julia and Magnus walked in. Lucretia was curled in on herself, looking like she might cry at any moment. Davenport looked up, his own eyes going wide, almost like he was seeing a ghost. Or maybe two of them.

"H-how?"

Magnus shook his head, shrugging helplessly.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Cap'n." He hesitated for a second, his face ashen. "Honestly, I thought I..."

Julia watched as Magnus put a hand on his chest right in the place she'd been so sure he'd been stabbed. She could still see all the blood when she closed her eyes. So she didn't. She blinked rapidly, clearing the image before she looked around at the others. Each of them was looking at Magnus with the same confused, worried, hopeful looks on their faces. And of course they were. Then she realized they were giving her the same looks. Of course. They'd left her behind too, hadn't they? As far as they'd been concerned, she and Magnus had both been missing presumed dead. And now they weren't just back, they were both on the ship with no real explanation for how.

Davenport took a breath and looked to Merle for any sort of explanation the cleric might have. The old man just shrugged though, expressive in his silence.

"We... can't just assume this will work every time. We can't assume anything." Their captain looked shaken in a way none of them had ever seen before and then he nodded to Merle again. "Look them both over. Make sure everything is alright. Then, Lup, Barry, I want you to take a look at them. Anything unusual, report to me and make sure we've got it written down. And if you can get anything on that... on those threads we all saw, I want that too. Lucretia, can you review their notes from last year just in case there's something in there that might explain it?"

With agreement from everyone who needed to, they split off into working teams. Taako would head to the kitchen to do an inventory just in case something in there had changed too, and then he was going to start getting a meal together. Julia followed Magnus down to the medical bay, Merle just a few steps behind them. Davenport, Lup, and Barry would start on some preliminary research on the plane below them for now. For now, none of them knew what was down there but what was happening on the ship was equally a mystery. 

Magnus sat nervously on the edge of his seat, his eyes continually flicking to the window on the wall of the medical bay. Outside, they could see the sky of this new world. It was brightly blue, its sun high in the sky. She wished she knew what was going on in his head, what he expected to see. She wished she felt like she knew him. She wished she could give him something to hold onto. But she still didn't know if maybe she'd fallen into another timeline or if maybe all of this was just some kind of fever dream her mind had conjured when it realized she was dying alone in the wreckage of Raven's Roost.

"Alright, let's run some basic tests and make sure you too are alright."

Julia took the other seat, half way inclined to pull her knees up to her chest. Merle stood in front of each of them for a moment, holding his symbol of Pan in one hand and a bundle of what looked like entirely random flowers in the other. After a long moment, he took a breath.

"Looks alright. Anything you wanna talk about?"

Julia shook her head slightly. It was Magnus the spoke up, one hand on his chest again.

"Uh... You know, I... Yeah. Merle, I... I'm pretty sure I beefed it back there. Like, I remember getting stabbed."

They all went quiet for a moment and then Merle looked at Julia.

"Why don't you head up to the lab while me and Mags talk? Then I'll circle back with you."

Julia stood, nodding a little.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll see you both later then."

She didn't look at Magnus as she walked out. She couldn't. Not when every fiber of her being screamed that she should be here and he didn't know her the way she felt like she knew him. It was like she was standing at the edge of a yawning chasm with no idea what was down there and no idea how to go back.

Instead of thinking about that, she walked through the ship and made her way up to Barry and Lup's lab. They were each on opposite sides of the room, their notebooks open and spells working as they analyzed the plane far below them.

"Looks breathable."

"Best thing I've heard all day."

Julia knocked on the doorframe and Lup turned to give her a little wave.

"You're early. Grab a seat and I'll check you over in a second." Then one of her ears flicked. "Don't suppose you've got any idea if that whole divine connection thing you've got going is still working, huh?"

Julia smiled slightly and then pulled her holy symbol out, considering it for a moment.

"It is, yeah. I can feel her just like I could before. But..."

She trailed off for a moment and Barry turned away from his own spellwork to lean against the workbench at the center of the room.

"But?"

"But..." Julia was quiet for a moment, trying to find the right way to describe those harrowing final moments of the animal world. "But when that... the darkness. When it showed up, I stopped being able to feel her. It was like I was alone. I haven't felt that in a long time."

Barry's eyes widened and he grabbed another notebook at the same time that Lup started to shape an illusion in the air, a three dimensional planar diagram. Julia watched, fascinated.

"Okay, so what you're describing..." Barry looked the diagram over and then gestured at one of the outer planes with his pen. "So that's the Celestial Plane, right? And near as we can tell, both our home planar system and the one from the animal world had roughly the same structure. So presumably, they would... presumably, the gods live in the same place in both worlds. Right there. Which..."

He trailed off and Lup picked up the thread, her diagram flooding with darkness and then reversing as she tried multiple ways to simulate it.

"Which probably means that this stuff, whatever it is, is somehow cutting at least the Celestial Plane off from the Prime Material, or the other way around. Make sense?"

Julia made a face and held her holy symbol tighter.

"Thanks, I hate it."

Lup snorted a laugh and dismissed her diagram.

"That's gotta suck for you, huh? And like, I know we're at two encounters but if this thing turns up a third time, I'm calling it a pattern. So, that's probably gonna happen again." Then she shook her head. "Alright, can I just snag a blood sample and then you're pretty much good to go. Just wanna make sure you don't have anything weird going on since, you know, you kinda weren't on the ship when we left. Either time."

When they finally touched down, it was into a world that was like a massive plain shot through with river systems. Once again, there seemed to be no signs of people but there were animals, so many animals. There were massive herds of something not entirely unlike horses or maybe cattle, it was hard to say. And Magnus had spotted something he promptly called a dog despite the fact that it appeared to have six legs rather than the usual four and he'd seen it teleport. Lucretia had stared at him for a solid five minutes when he said that before she finally blurted out that she'd seen it too and it was purple and it absolutely was not a dog. To absolutely no one's surprise, Magnus had said he wanted to pet it anyway.

"Just don't let it bite you," Julia offered with a smile. "At least not until we figure out if it's venomous."

"See?" Magnus shouted, pointing at her. "She understands me!"

Davenport let out an aggrieved sigh and then looked towards the sky.

"We're going to need to set up a schedule of night watches, in case the Light of Creation comes here too. Last time... We don't know what we're dealing with. We don't know if that thing is going to follow us here too. I want to make sure we have the Light if it does. Any questions?"

There was a chorus of "No, Captain!" before the crew split up to start exploring. Julia glanced at Magnus, considering following him. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Lucretia smiling at her nervously.

"I was thinking that maybe exploring out there wouldn't be so bad if you were there. I know you can handle yourself. It would probably be practically safe."

Julia looked at her for a moment, confusion on her face. Then she took in the nervous expression and the way Lucretia wasn't quite meeting her eyes. Oh. _Oh_. She knew that expression, she'd had it on her own face at times. Did Lucretia have something of a crush on her? Oh dear. That was going to be a problem. Not that she minded, in the general course of things. But she didn't want to hurt her friend and she was going to have to let her down in the end. Her heart belonged only to Magnus, whether he knew it or not. 

Either way, she knew she wanted a friend more than she wanted anything else. And she wanted someone she could talk to about everything that had happened at the end. So she gave Lucretia a grin of her own and gestured back towards where the quarters she shared with Lup were.

"Sure, let me just go grab my war hammer."

About a month into the previous year, when it had become patently obvious that Julia wasn't going anywhere and neither were they, Lup and Taako had spent some time transmuting a spare shirt into a shirt of chainmail for her and had made a war hammer that was surprisingly well balanced, all things considered. She pulled the chain shirt on over her dress and slung the hammer into a back strap. Then she adjusted her belt to keep the armor sitting in the right place. It was good stuff, well made for all that it had been crafted with magic and not by a smith. Still, she would have preferred to have the old, battered plate that had seen her through the rebellion. She and her father had made that. Still, she was perfectly safe with this and her magic and her own skill with a weapon.

Turning, she saw Lucretia waiting in the doorway with her head down and both hands on her staff. She also had a light pack over one shoulder. Even odds that it held her sketchbook and maybe some watercolors. 

"Ready to go?"

The younger woman nodded slightly and turned to head towards the door of the ship. They made off into the tall grass, Julia scanning the horizon. They hadn't seen anything other than the purple teleporter that seemed like a predator yet and she didn't want to be surprised when one finally decided to show up. And keeping up an aura of vigilance gave Julia time to figure out how she was going to handle things going forward. She needed someone to talk to, someone she could explain all of this to. Clearly, as much as she wished it could be otherwise, that person wasn't going to be Magnus. He didn't know her. Yet? She didn't even know if he was her Magnus. For all she knew, this was another world with a completely different Magnus. But she could still explain the whole situation to someone and try to figure out what to do.

Looking ahead for a moment, she saw Lucretia headed towards the edge of a small stream. She was already pulling off her pack to pull out her sketchbook. Julia sat on a rock and set her hammer close to hand.

"Hey Lucretia? Can I tell you something that's going to sound... Well, it's probably going to sound impossible but I promise it's all true and I just... I need to tell someone."

Lucretia looked up, eyebrows shooting up a bit in her surprise.

"Of course. Is... is everything alright?"

Julia took a deep breath and looked over towards the water, watching the way it made little eddies around the stones. It was an odd shade of teal and part of her wondered if it was something coloring the water or if it was just the way the sky reflected here.

"Remember how Magnus said I knew his name before he said anything?" Lucretia nodded a little and Julia continued on. "That's because I know him. Or... well, at the very least, I know a man named Magnus who looks just like him. The scar over his eye and everything. We met... oh, just about five years ago. He just turned up in town one day and changed everything."

She explained everything, the hours stretching on as she talked about Raven's Roost and Kalen and the rebellion and her father and the workshop and the gazebo that Magnus had made with his own two hands just for the two of them and about the wedding in the spring with fresh flowers growing around them. 

"Right before I appeared on the ship something... something happened. I don't know what entirely. I remember explosions and falling. I've got theories for who might've been behind it but nothing I can prove. And I have no idea how that translated to me being on the Starblaster. By rights, I should be dead."

Lucretia was silent for a long moment, her eyes intent on Julia's face. Then she smiled a little, looking down.

"Well, either you're telling the truth or this is the most elaborate way someone's ever tried to let me down gently." She laughed a little, the sound almost self-deprecating. Then she looked up again. "But that's really what happened? And Magnus doesn't know you? He doesn't know about any of that?"

Julia shook her head.

"Not as far as I know. And if he does, then he's pretty suddenly learned to lie." She exhaled slowly, feeling relieved to finally have this off her chest. "I don't think I should tell him though. At least, not yet. Not until I figure out more. But I needed to tell someone."

Lucretia shifted slightly where she was sitting and then looked down at the sketchbook in her lap. Julia wished she knew what else to say. There really wasn't anything else she could say, was there?

"The only part that doesn't make any sense is that the rest of us were together before all of this started, or you'd have me worrying this was some kind of purgatory. I still wonder a little but at least it's probably not likely. Especially with you and Merle still having your powers. I don't suspect the dead would get divine magic under any sort of normal circumstances."

That startled a laugh out of Julia and she leaned forward.

"And exactly what part of all of this has been normal circumstances? I'm pretty sure I've died twice."

Any lingering tension between them faded then. There was still something lingering in Lucretia's eyes that was a bit like disappointment but she shoved it off for now, at least. She reached for the ubiquitous pencil tucked behind one ear and began to sketch the unusual flowers that grew along the banks of the stream. She sketched in economical lines, leaving shading and color for later when she took out her watercolors.

"You know..." She murmured, "We should probably collect a water sample to bring back for Barry and Lup. They'll certainly want to test it." She leaned down, filling a small cup to dip her brush in. With a frown, she tested it on a page and frowned slightly. "The teal isn't a reflection at least. It looks like it's coming out on my paper."

Julia unclipped a canteen from her belt and held it out.

"Here, I can just clean this before I use it again. It should be safer to transport than your paint water cup."

* * *

Thanks be to Sarenrae, Magnus had only managed to chase the creature he'd decided to name a dog around in the field and hadn't once come close to capturing it. What this largely meant was that by the time Taako was in the kitchen working on getting dinner together, Lup and Magnus were experimenting with the level of oxygen in the local atmosphere by way of lighting things on fire while wearing goggles, taking notes, and calling it science. Based on the way Lup was laughing, they had either learned something about this plane or just found something that burned in an interesting way. Based on the fact that the smoke was purple, Julia was leaning towards the second one.

She settled in at a small table on the deck, her armor safely back in her room, and took up the small whittling knife she'd acquired the year before. To her surprise, Taako settled in next to her with his spellbook and started flipping through it. At least, she was pretty sure it was his spellbook. As far as she'd been able to tell, both of the twins had books they carried around but she hadn't been able to figure out which book belonged to which twin since sometimes they seemed to have each other's. Either way, he was scribbling in the margins on one page, periodically chewing on the end of his pen. 

After a long moment, he spoke without so much as looking up.

"So, you and Maggie really beefed it back there, huh? Sucks." There was a long pause before he spoke again. "Glad you came back though. However the fuck it worked. Don't feel like being on this pleasure cruise without our jocks, y'know?"

Julia huffed a little laugh.

"Yeah, I'm glad to be back too." Then she raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you on dinner duty tonight?"

Taako jerked a thumb back towards the kitchen with a grin.

"Figured I'd jot down some ideas while the oven does its thing."

After that, a comfortable quiet settled between them. After a bit longer, Taako meandered off, headed back to the kitchen. He muttered something about a timer and dinner being soon. It seemed like just after he was gone that Lup settled in the seat beside her and Julia suddenly realized that the crew hadn't left her alone for longer than a few minutes since she and Magnus had reappeared on the ship. Turning to look at Lup, she raised an eyebrow.

"So, giving Magnus this treatment too or am I the only one who's got babysitters?"

Lup's ears flicked back and for a second she almost looked guilty. Then Julia followed her gaze over to where Magnus was now sitting with Davenport, a rough map taking shape between them as they talked quietly.

"We just wanted to make sure you were both okay, you know? You went through a whole thing and... it's not exactly something any of us can relate to but that doesn't mean we don't realize how much it sucks, right?"

Julia nodded a little. In a way, she was glad they'd all decided that. She could remember nights during the rebellion, laying with Magnus in her arms and his arms around her. They'd both had more than their fair share of close calls winning their town back from Kalen and his sycophants. And she knew how hard it had been for Magnus even on the days when they hadn't been the ones tempting their own deaths. And she'd gone courting hers far, far too often.

"Yeah. No, that... that makes sense. Thanks, Lup." She looked down at the half-shaped carving in her hands. She'd never been as good as Magnus or her father. Carving wood just wasn't really her jam. She was a blacksmith through and through but blacksmithing was hard to do without a forge and this was the best way to keep her hands busy. She could almost see the dog starting to take shape in the wood. "I just don't understand how any of this is happening. I shouldn't have come back. I shouldn't have been here in the first place. And yet."

"And yet." Lup echoed, her ears flicked back. "I've got no answers here either. Something that vaguely looks like a theory, sure, but I need a little more data before I'm willing to call that anything more than an anecdote."

She was quiet for a moment before she turned to stare out at the forest.

"Honestly, none of us thought we'd ever seen either of you again. And I felt horrible. Kept telling Cap'nport we needed to go back but we couldn't, there was no way. And then there was just all of that darkness and..." Lup trailed off, pulling her knees up to her chest. "This whole thing's a shitshow. The mission, the... _thing_. All of it. If you two coming back when it should've been impossible is the only thing we've got going for us, I'll fuckin' take it."

There was nothing Julia could really say to that. Lup was right. It seemed like everything that could go wrong was going wrong. At the same time, she didn't want to give up on the idea that something good could come from all of this.

"We'll figure something out. Just gotta get more information. Then we'll deal with the darkness once and for all."


End file.
